Assistance should be about empowerment—lifting people up in ways that help them stand on their own. Yet, in reality, help is often given based on bias rather than need, and this bias frequently favours dependency over self-sufficiency. It’s disheartening to witness how those striving for economic growth are overlooked, while those who continue poor spending habits are readily supported without question.

Who Gets Help and Who Gets Ignored?

It’s a frustrating reality: someone seeking assistance to start a business, upskill, or create a source of income is often met with scepticism, hesitation, or outright refusal. Meanwhile, a family member who constantly mismanages money—spending on luxuries disguised as “needs”—will receive immediate support without question.

Why does this happen? Why is it easier for people to assist someone in maintaining a cycle of poor decision-making rather than invest in someone trying to build a better future? The answer lies in comfort and familiarity. When people give to those who repeatedly need help, they maintain a dynamic where they remain in control, where the recipient remains dependent, and where no real change occurs.

But when someone asks for assistance to become independent—to grow financially, to start something meaningful, or to break out of the cycle—they challenge the existing status quo. Their request forces others to consider true accountability: an investment in growth requires follow-through, long-term thinking, and a belief in the person’s potential. And unfortunately, many are unwilling to provide that kind of support.

The Cost of Enabling Poor Choices

There’s a major difference between helping someone in genuine need and enabling someone who refuses to take accountability for their poor financial habits. We often see individuals spending excessively on things that are not true necessities, only to later claim financial distress. These are the people who:

• Spend beyond their means, mistaking wants for needs.
• Prioritize short-term indulgences over long-term stability.
• Regularly find themselves in financial distress, not because of circumstances beyond their control, but because of repeated poor choices.

And yet, these individuals are often the first to receive help—because their situation remains the same, their dependency is predictable, and they know how to position their struggles in a way that attracts sympathy. Meanwhile, those working toward financial independence are questioned, doubted, and made to feel as though they are asking for too much.

Breaking the Cycle of Biased Assistance

The truth is, real help is about empowerment, not rescue. It is about supporting people in ways that allow them to build, grow, and eventually stand on their own. If assistance is to be truly meaningful, it must be invested in people who show accountability rather than simply given to those who have mastered the art of always needing help.

How do we shift this mindset?

• Support Economic Growth Over Short-Term Fixes: Instead of handing out money to those who repeatedly fall into financial crises, invest in people who have a vision for their future.
• Encourage Accountability: Assistance should come with a mindset shift—if someone repeatedly makes poor financial choices, tough love may be the better answer rather than continued enabling.
• Invest in Sustainability: Help should not be about temporary relief but about building lasting change. That means prioritizing those who are working toward a future rather than those who refuse to take control of their present.

A Call for Fair and Meaningful Assistance

True assistance should not be given based on bias, guilt, or habit. It should be about creating change—about giving to those who are striving for self-sufficiency rather than keeping people trapped in dependency. When we start prioritizing help that leads to empowerment rather than temporary relief, we stop enabling poor choices and start building stronger individuals, families, and communities.

It’s time to rethink how and why we give. Are we supporting growth, or are we maintaining a cycle of dependence? The answer determines whether we are truly making a difference or simply keeping people comfortable in their struggles.